Image crisis, maybe?

My second anniversary is coming up next week. I can’t believe that I have been working at this place for two years. Just a couple of blog entries ago, I wrote about being hired by my current boss. Two years has gone by fast now that I am looking back even though during that time, there were millions of slow and boring long moments. Since I have taken this job, I have had intellectual and image crises. Crises are not necessarily bad, for example, you have to step back one step to move forward two steps. Positively thinking as I am, I am enjoying the crises to some extent.

Intellectually, I am being under-employed. Do you need a master’s degree to know how to greet guests and schedules meetings? Even though my job is much more than a receptionist, sadly people only see me as a receptionist because most of the things I do are in support of a few high rank people. I don’t mind what people think really, particularly when I get paid pretty well for doing so little and I have the best boss ever. However, at the back of my mind, I know that I can do better. I know that I have achieved lots of things in my life just because I keep pushing myself hard. In the past two years, I have not pushed myself that hard. I have gotten in the settling mode, with family, a stable job and income. I am not a risk-taker and now is not a good time to take a risk. So I have put my fancy degree at the bottom of a drawer and do a no-brainer job.

Image-wise, it’s a bittersweet laugh. I would have never thought I would be a pretty receptionist in the public eye. In my family, I was the tomboy girl, my sister was the girlie girl. Watching “Pride and Prejudice,” I identify myself with the younger sister (Elizabeth Bennet, starred by Keira Knightley), outspoken, blatant sometimes, and practical. Shy, dreamy, and romance seeking is definitely my sister and also the older sister (Jane Bennet starred by Rosamund Pike). In school, I was a top student, very popular among girls and boys. I always had my groups. I was a common looking girl, not the one who would turn people’s heads or go to beauty pageants, even though I went once when I was in first grade and got cut off after the first round. I had so much make-up on that I couldn’t recognize myself when looking at a mirror. Having that mentality all my life, I was offensive to be mentioned to as “the pretty receptionist.” If I could talk back, I would say, “I am not only pretty but also smart.” But I didn’t because I wanted to keep my job. People started to come to me to talk about clothes, jewelries, hairstyles, make-up stuff and all. Seriously, I couldn’t care less. My clothes are mostly from my girlie sister who was too kind to send me dozens of dresses and tops. Some are too nice to wear to work. One time I wore this black dress with my pearl jewelries because my husband and I were going to a law office later that day. I could see that some people were hesitant to ask me to clean up their lunch. I have never worn that dress again. For people who want to talk about girls’ stuff, I can’t help much because I don’t have much knowledge to share. My stuff is more for function than form. I try to find something that looks nice but not too painful to wear. For example, my heels are not too tall and fairly comfortable even though I know better than walking in them a lot. It takes me 30 minutes to wake up and get out of the house every morning. I am not the kind of girls who straighten (or curl) their hair everyday. It is irony that people see me like one of those. I now get much used to the compliments, sometimes people are just trying to be nice. I wish one day soon I will get back my “smarty-pants” image. And maybe I can be both pretty and smart, but not cocky or nerdy like the ones in some teens’ movies (wink).